關于仿網易新聞中詳細頁圖文混排功能的實現

2019-11-14 18:15:28

字體：大中小

來源：轉載

供稿：網友

最近在了解關于新聞內容的圖文混排的效果，網上有人開源一個仿網易新聞的代碼，本文就是簡單記錄學習其詳細頁面顯示的效果實現；

下載地址：https://github.com/dsxNiubility/SXNews

效果圖：

其原理：通過網絡請求獲得相關的信息,再通過手機端進行拼HTML,然后在WebView進行展示，此處還對文章中的圖片增加點擊效果，可以保存到相冊中；文章的樣式已經存在項目中，直接去調用；

1：首先了解兩個相關的實體對象，一個是新聞的主體內容，另外一個就是圖片的相關信息實體；

1：主體內容.H文件@interface SXDetailModel : NSObject/** 新聞標題 */@PRoperty (nonatomic, copy) NSString *title;/** 新聞發布時間 */@property (nonatomic, copy) NSString *ptime;/** 新聞內容 */@property (nonatomic, copy) NSString *body;/** 新聞配圖(希望這個數組中以后放HMNewsDetailImg模型) */@property (nonatomic, strong) NSArray *img;+ (instancetype)detailWithDict:(NSDictionary *)dict;@end.M文件#import "SXDetailModel.h"#import "SXDetailImgModel.h"@implementation SXDetailModel/** 便利構造器 */+ (instancetype)detailWithDict:(NSDictionary *)dict{    SXDetailModel *detail = [[self alloc]init];    detail.title = dict[@"title"];    detail.ptime = dict[@"ptime"];    detail.body = dict[@"body"];        NSArray *imgArray = dict[@"img"];    NSMutableArray *temArray = [NSMutableArray arrayWithCapacity:imgArray.count];        for (NSDictionary *dict in imgArray) {        SXDetailImgModel *imgModel = [SXDetailImgModel detailImgWithDict:dict];        [temArray addObject:imgModel];    }    detail.img = temArray;            return detail;}@end

圖片信息實體.H文件：@interface SXDetailImgModel : NSObject@property (nonatomic, copy) NSString *src;/** 圖片尺寸 */@property (nonatomic, copy) NSString *pixel;/** 圖片所處的位置 */@property (nonatomic, copy) NSString *ref;+ (instancetype)detailImgWithDict:(NSDictionary *)dict;@end.M文件：@implementation SXDetailImgModel/** 便利構造器方法 */+ (instancetype)detailImgWithDict:(NSDictionary *)dict{    SXDetailImgModel *imgModel = [[self alloc]init];    imgModel.ref = dict[@"ref"];    imgModel.pixel = dict[@"pixel"];    imgModel.src = dict[@"src"];        return imgModel;}@end

2：網絡請求，并轉化成實體對象

    NSString *url = [NSString stringWithFormat:@"http://c.m.163.com/nc/article/%@/full.html",self.newsModel.docid];    [[SXHTTPManager manager]GET:url parameters:nil success:^(AFHTTPRequestOperation *operation, id responSEObject) {        self.detailModel = [SXDetailModel detailWithDict:responseObject[self.newsModel.docid]];        [self showInWebView];    } failure:^(AFHTTPRequestOperation *operation, NSError *error) {        NSLog(@"failure %@",error);    }];

其中[self showInWebView]就是下一步中拼接HTML源代碼的內容，這邊可以查看它的URL,以及回轉回來的內容：

http://c.m.163.com/nc/article/B4A3HU9300963VRO/full.html

{"B4A3HU9300963VRO":{"body":"　　中國日報網9月24日電（信蓮）當地時間9月23日，第八屆中美互聯網論壇在美國西雅圖召開，300多名中美互聯網巨頭齊聚一堂，共商網絡空間合作與發展大計。當天下午，正在美國訪問的來到會場會見中美互聯網企業巨頭，并發表了熱情洋溢的講話。<//p>　　稱贊在場的互聯網大佬是互聯網界推動了技術革命、行業變革的領軍人物、重量級人物。他強調，中國倡導建設和平、安全、開放、合作的網絡空間，主張各國制定符合自身國情的互聯網公共政策。中美都是網絡大國，雙方擁有重要共同利益和合作空間。雙方理應在相互尊重、相互信任的基礎上，就網絡問題開展建設性對話，打造中美合作的亮點，讓網絡空間更好地造福兩國人民和世界人民。<//p>　　此前，22日在西雅圖市出席華盛頓州當地政府和美國友好團體聯合舉行的歡迎宴會并發表演講時強調，中國是網絡安全的堅定維護者，愿同美國建立兩國共同打擊網絡犯罪高級別聯合對話機制。<//p>　　連續就互聯網闡述重要觀點，受到參加中美互聯網論壇的中美互聯網巨頭的高度關注。參加23日會見的巨頭們在現場聆聽了的講話，反應更是強烈。<//p>　　臉譜創始人扎克伯格說，自己一直在讀的著作，知道他今天所講的與此前的思想都是一致的，那就是中國會堅定不移地對外開放；是一個很堅定的人，今天的講話展現了一貫的立場和態度，也給美國的互聯網企業以信心。<//p>　　扎克伯格隨后在臉譜上發表感想：“能見到和其他官員是我莫大的榮幸。”<//p>　　阿里巴巴董事局主席馬云表示，他從的講話中體會最深的是真誠、信任、尊重和溝通；表達了溝通的重要性，中美之間需要相互信任和尊重，而溝通是實現目標的途徑。<//p>　　英特爾CEO科再奇說，的講話信號非常清晰，語言很樸實、也很親切。他非常同意所說的，美國互聯網企業把技術引入中國，就要遵守中國的法律法規，為中國消費者提供優質服務?？圃倨嬗X得我們不應該互相指責，而應該開展合作，這樣會讓事情朝好的方向發展。<//p>　　新浪董事長兼CEO曹國偉稱，自己從2007年以來已經連續8年參加中美互聯網論壇，今年是參加人數最多、互聯網大佬最全、規格最高的一次。主席同時兼任中央網絡安全和信息化領導小組組長，他能親臨現場并會見企業界代表，顯示出他對互聯網行業的重視和高度關注。<//p>　　亞馬遜總裁貝索斯坦言，今天習主席講得非常好，強調要開放市場，推動雙方企業平等進入，這體現了大國的風范。現在的關鍵是雙方要拿出實際行動，共同推動所講的原則和理念成為現實。<//p>　　浪潮集團董事長兼CEO孫丕恕對南都記者說，的講話中讓他感觸最深的是，互聯網企業很重要，不單影響著國家、社會，還包括每個人。尤其是現在的年輕人對互聯網依賴很大，正因為大家都依賴互聯網，互聯網企業應該有很大的社會責任。<//p>　　奇虎360董事長周鴻祎則對南都記者表示，此次訪美，在中美互聯網論壇上會見了中美兩國幾乎所有的頂尖互聯網公司、IT科技公司的領袖，這些企業代表了全球信息技術和互聯網的發展方向，提高了兩國人民的生活水平和工作效率，而且在萬物互聯、人工智能等方面也走在世界前列。<//p>　　周鴻祎說，有了網絡就會有安全威脅，網絡攻擊、網絡間諜等非法行為不分地域，隨著互聯網的進一步擴展會更加頻繁。無論中國、美國還是其他國家，如果沒有合作機制解決網絡安全問題，那么大家都是受害者。希望借此機會在中美兩國互聯網公司之間建立一定的合作機制，這是非常好的契機。<//p>　　第八屆中美互聯網論壇的主題是“互信、互利、合作、共贏”。國家互聯網信息辦公室主任魯煒到會發表了主旨演講，他講的“二人同舟”的故事給人留下深刻印象。多家中美互聯網企業還舉行了簽約儀式，簽署戰略合作協議和合作備忘錄。<//p>　　參加本屆論壇的美國企業大佬包括微軟公司CEO薩提亞、英特爾CEO科再奇、IBM董事長兼CEO羅睿蘭、蘋果CEO庫克、高通CEO史蒂夫·莫倫科夫、臉譜創始人扎克伯格、領英創始人霍夫曼、亞馬遜CEO貝佐斯、Airbnb聯合創始人兼CEO切斯基、雅虎創始人楊致遠等。<//p>　　中方參加者包括阿里巴巴馬云、騰訊馬化騰、百度張亞勤、京東劉強東、新浪曹國偉、搜狐張朝陽、聯想楊元慶、奇虎360周鴻祎。此外，還有中國電子信息產業集團總經理劉烈宏、中國電子科技集團董事長熊群力、國內最大的高性能計算機研發與生產企業曙光公司總裁歷軍、寬帶資本創始人兼董事長田溯寧、紅杉資本全球執行合伙人沈南鵬、滴滴快的董事長兼CEO程維、浪潮集團董事長孫丕恕等。三大運營商也派出副總裁和副總經理級別高管參會。<//p>","users":[],"replyCount":220,"ydbaike":[],"link":[],"votes":[],"img":[{"ref":"","pixel":"550*360","alt":"9月23日，在西雅圖微軟公司總部會見出席中美互聯網論壇雙方主要代表并發表講話。（新華社記者 黃敬文 攝）","src":"http://img1.cache.netease.com/catchpic/8/86/86D2AE0452DC8BAFD4D021BD5C0A92B9.jpg"}],"digest":"","topiclist_news":[],"dkeys":"","topiclist":[],"docid":"B4A3HU9300963VRO","picnews":true,"title":"中美互聯網巨頭議講話","tid":"","keyWord_search":[{"word":"中美互聯網"},{"word":""},{"word":"習主席"}],"template":"normal","threadVote":0,"threadAgainst":0,"boboList":[],"replyBoard":"3g_bbs","source":"中國日報網","hasNext":false,"voicecomment":"off","relative_sys":[{"id":"B49AI9Q100964KAF","title":"中美互聯網論壇公司市值對比：美是中方4倍","source":"TechWeb今日焦點","imgsrc":"http://easyread.ph.126.net/TxZoDlibh5CVWrCC2r7yKQ==/8796093022267333422.jpg","type":"doc","ptime":"2015-09-24 10:51:04","href":""},{"id":"B49001EH900101EI","title":"網絡巨頭激辯O2O錢景：估值待修復 整合持續","source":"解放網","imgsrc":"http://easyread.ph.126.net/pCeLzQ17r0L2TE4TfxNqhQ==/7916537596058779911.jpg","type":"doc","ptime":"2015-09-24 08:06:23","href":""},{"id":"B33574KM900174KN","title":"創業者說：對于創業，這是最好的時代，還是最壞的時代？","source":"投資界","imgsrc":"http://easyread.ph.126.net/8BYU6vkLljFvYXQBBWQI5w==/7916594770663403213.jpg","type":"doc","ptime":"2015-09-09 14:38:00","href":""}],"apps":[],"ptime":"2015-09-24 18:42:47"}}

此時，我們很容易就對它回轉過來的數據有一個大概的了解；

3：拼接HTML源代碼

#pragma mark - ******************** 拼接html語言- (void)showInWebView{    NSMutableString *html = [NSMutableString string];    [html appendString:@"<html>"];    [html appendString:@"<head>"];    [html appendFormat:@"<link rel=/"stylesheet/" href=/"%@/">",[[NSBundle mainBundle] URLForResource:@"SXDetails.CSS" withExtension:nil]];    [html appendString:@"</head>"];        [html appendString:@"<body>"];    [html appendString:[self touchBody]];    [html appendString:@"</body>"];        [html appendString:@"</html>"];        [self.webView loaDHTMLString:html baseURL:nil];}- (NSString *)touchBody{    NSMutableString *body = [NSMutableString string];    [body appendFormat:@"<div class=/"title/">%@</div>",self.detailModel.title];    [body appendFormat:@"<div class=/"time/">%@</div>",self.detailModel.ptime];    if (self.detailModel.body != nil) {        [body appendString:self.detailModel.body];    }    // 遍歷img    for (SXDetailImgModel *detailImgModel in self.detailModel.img) {        NSMutableString *imgHtml = [NSMutableString string];        // 設置img的div    [imgHtml appendString:@"<div class=/"img-parent/">"];        // 數組存放被切割的像素        NSArray *pixel = [detailImgModel.pixel componentsSeparatedByString:@"*"];        CGFloat width = [[pixel firstObject]floatValue];        CGFloat height = [[pixel lastObject]floatValue];    // 判斷是否超過最大寬度        CGFloat maxWidth = [UIScreen mainScreen].bounds.size.width * 0.96;        if (width > maxWidth) {            height = maxWidth / width * height;            width = maxWidth;        }                NSString *onload = @"this.onclick = function() {"                            "  window.location.href = 'sx:src=' +this.src;"                                    "};";        [imgHtml appendFormat:@"<img onload=/"%@/" width=/"%f/" height=/"%f/" src=/"%@/">",onload,width,height,detailImgModel.src];    // 結束標記    [imgHtml appendString:@"</div>"];    // 替換標記        [body replaceOccurrencesOfString:detailImgModel.ref withString:imgHtml options:NSCaseInsensitiveSearch range:NSMakeRange(0, body.length)];    }    return body;}

這邊注意有個是去讀項目中已經寫好的CSS文件，來定義新聞頁在手機端的顯示樣式；圖片也增加相應的點擊事件，為后面WebView做通信，把拼接好的HTML直接展示在webView里；此處還對圖片的大小進行比較跟處理；并在圖片的位置進行替換標記；

SXDetails.css樣式內容：.title {    text-align:left;    font-size:25px;    font-weight:bold;    color:black;    margin-left:10px;}.time {    text-align:left;    font-size:15px;    color:gray;    margin-top:7px;    margin-bottom:7px;    margin-left:10px;    }.img-parent {    text-align:center;    margin-bottom:10px;}

4:關于WebView與網頁進行交互，并把圖片保存到手機相冊中

#pragma mark - ******************** 將發出通知時調用- (BOOL)webView:(UIWebView *)webView shouldStartLoadWithRequest:(NSURLRequest *)request navigationType:(UIWebViewNavigationType)navigationType{    NSString *url = request.URL.absoluteString;    NSRange range = [url rangeOfString:@"sx:src="];    if (range.location != NSNotFound) {        NSInteger begin = range.location + range.length;        NSString *src = [url substringFromIndex:begin];        [self savePictureToAlbum:src];        return NO;    }    return YES;}#pragma mark - ******************** 保存到相冊方法- (void)savePictureToAlbum:(NSString *)src{    UIAlertController *alert = [UIAlertController alertControllerWithTitle:@"提示" message:@"確定要保存到相冊嗎？" preferredStyle:UIAlertControllerStyleActionSheet];        [alert addAction:[UIAlertAction actionWithTitle:@"取消" style:UIAlertActionStyleCancel handler:nil]];    [alert addAction:[UIAlertAction actionWithTitle:@"確定" style:UIAlertActionStyleDestructive handler:^(UIAlertAction *action) {                NSURLCache *cache =[NSURLCache sharedURLCache];        NSURLRequest *request = [NSURLRequest requestWithURL:[NSURL URLWithString:src]];        NSData *imgData = [cache cachedResponseForRequest:request].data;        UIImage *image = [UIImage imageWithData:imgData];        UIImageWriteToSavedPhotosAlbum(image, nil, nil, nil);            }]];            [self presentViewController:alert animated:YES completion:nil];}

注意關于webView協議<UIWebViewDelegate>的self.webView.delegate = self

5:拼接后的HTML內容如下:

<html><head><link rel="stylesheet" href="file:///Users/wujunyang/Library/Developer/CoreSimulator/Devices/C99C0226-EDEB-43D6-A6BC-A2C213049F33/data/Containers/Bundle/application/68E1C648-BB8C-4CBD-9891-17F1D5DB1379/81%20-%20%E7%BD%91%E6%98%93%E6%96%B0%E9%97%BB.app/SXDetails.css"></head><body><div class="title">中美互聯網巨頭議講話</div><div class="time">2015-09-24 18:42:47</div><div class="img-parent"><img onload="this.onclick = function() {  window.location.href = 'sx:src=' +this.src;};" width="397.440000" height="260.142545" src="http://img1.cache.netease.com/catchpic/8/86/86D2AE0452DC8BAFD4D021BD5C0A92B9.jpg"></div><p>　　中國日報網9月24日電（信蓮）當地時間9月23日，第八屆中美互聯網論壇在美國西雅圖召開，300多名中美互聯網巨頭齊聚一堂，共商網絡空間合作與發展大計。當天下午，正在美國訪問的來到會場會見中美互聯網企業巨頭，并發表了熱情洋溢的講話。</p><p>　　稱贊在場的互聯網大佬是互聯網界推動了技術革命、行業變革的領軍人物、重量級人物。他強調，中國倡導建設和平、安全、開放、合作的網絡空間，主張各國制定符合自身國情的互聯網公共政策。中美都是網絡大國，雙方擁有重要共同利益和合作空間。雙方理應在相互尊重、相互信任的基礎上，就網絡問題開展建設性對話，打造中美合作的亮點，讓網絡空間更好地造福兩國人民和世界人民。</p><p>　　此前，22日在西雅圖市出席華盛頓州當地政府和美國友好團體聯合舉行的歡迎宴會并發表演講時強調，中國是網絡安全的堅定維護者，愿同美國建立兩國共同打擊網絡犯罪高級別聯合對話機制。</p><p>　　連續就互聯網闡述重要觀點，受到參加中美互聯網論壇的中美互聯網巨頭的高度關注。參加23日會見的巨頭們在現場聆聽了的講話，反應更是強烈。</p><p>　　臉譜創始人扎克伯格說，自己一直在讀的著作，知道他今天所講的與此前的思想都是一致的，那就是中國會堅定不移地對外開放；習主席是一個很堅定的人，今天的講話展現了一貫的立場和態度，也給美國的互聯網企業以信心。</p><p>　　扎克伯格隨后在臉譜上發表感想：“能見到主席和其他官員是我莫大的榮幸。”</p><p>　　阿里巴巴董事局主席馬云表示，他從的講話中體會最深的是真誠、信任、尊重和溝通；表達了溝通的重要性，中美之間需要相互信任和尊重，而溝通是實現目標的途徑。</p><p>　　英特爾CEO科再奇說，的講話信號非常清晰，語言很樸實、也很親切。他非常同意習主席所說的，美國互聯網企業把技術引入中國，就要遵守中國的法律法規，為中國消費者提供優質服務?？圃倨嬗X得我們不應該互相指責，而應該開展合作，這樣會讓事情朝好的方向發展。</p><p>　　新浪董事長兼CEO曹國偉稱，自己從2007年以來已經連續8年參加中美互聯網論壇，今年是參加人數最多、互聯網大佬最全、規格最高的一次。同時兼任中央網絡安全和信息化領導小組組長，他能親臨現場并會見企業界代表，顯示出他對互聯網行業的重視和高度關注。</p><p>　　亞馬遜總裁貝索斯坦言，今天講得非常好，強調要開放市場，推動雙方企業平等進入，這體現了大國的風范?，F在的關鍵是雙方要拿出實際行動，共同推動所講的原則和理念成為現實。</p><p>　　浪潮集團董事長兼CEO孫丕恕對南都記者說，的講話中讓他感觸最深的是，互聯網企業很重要，不單影響著國家、社會，還包括每個人。尤其是現在的年輕人對互聯網依賴很大，正因為大家都依賴互聯網，互聯網企業應該有很大的社會責任。</p><p>　　奇虎360董事長周鴻祎則對南都記者表示此次訪美，在中美互聯網論壇上會見了中美兩國幾乎所有的頂尖互聯網公司、IT科技公司的領袖，這些企業代表了全球信息技術和互聯網的發展方向，提高了兩國人民的生活水平和工作效率，而且在萬物互聯、人工智能等方面也走在世界前列。</p><p>　　周鴻祎說，有了網絡就會有安全威脅，網絡攻擊、網絡間諜等非法行為不分地域，隨著互聯網的進一步擴展會更加頻繁。無論中國、美國還是其他國家，如果沒有合作機制解決網絡安全問題，那么大家都是受害者。希望借此機會在中美兩國互聯網公司之間建立一定的合作機制，這是非常好的契機。</p><p>　　第八屆中美互聯網論壇的主題是“互信、互利、合作、共贏”。國家互聯網信息辦公室主任魯煒到會發表了主旨演講，他講的“二人同舟”的故事給人留下深刻印象。多家中美互聯網企業還舉行了簽約儀式，簽署戰略合作協議和合作備忘錄。</p><p>　　參加本屆論壇的美國企業大佬包括微軟公司CEO薩提亞、英特爾CEO科再奇、IBM董事長兼CEO羅睿蘭、蘋果CEO庫克、高通CEO史蒂夫·莫倫科夫、臉譜創始人扎克伯格、領英創始人霍夫曼、亞馬遜CEO貝佐斯、Airbnb聯合創始人兼CEO切斯基、雅虎創始人楊致遠等。</p><p>　　中方參加者包括阿里巴巴馬云、騰訊馬化騰、百度張亞勤、京東劉強東、新浪曹國偉、搜狐張朝陽、聯想楊元慶、奇虎360周鴻祎。此外，還有中國電子信息產業集團總經理劉烈宏、中國電子科技集團董事長熊群力、國內最大的高性能計算機研發與生產企業曙光公司總裁歷軍、寬帶資本創始人兼董事長田溯寧、紅杉資本全球執行合伙人沈南鵬、滴滴快的董事長兼CEO程維、浪潮集團董事長孫丕恕等。三大運營商也派出副總裁和副總經理級別高管參會。</p></body></html>

6：效果圖中另外一張有比較多的圖片源文件如下：

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{"B4A39DDB00964LQ9":{"body":"　　給你們講一個恐怖的故事：聽說從今天開始2015年只剩下100天了！<//p>　　2015年快過去了，年初定下的目標都達成了嗎？時間總是不知不覺匆匆地過去，不留下一絲痕跡。<//p>　　俗語有云：生命很短，我們真的沒必要浪費在安全地拔出USB上。<//p>　　感冒了去看醫生，醫生給了我一把殺豬刀，我問這是什么意思，醫生說：時間是把殺豬刀，時間可以治愈一切，所以殺豬刀可以治愈一切。（銀教授）<//p>　　說起來，還有幾天就中秋節了，今年我覺得特別的奇怪，因為居然沒有人吐槽五仁月餅了。<//p>　　沒錯，五仁月餅這個梗估計已經慢慢淡出了大家的腦海，取而代之的是。。。<//p>　　其實人也是一樣的，如果我們自己不留下點紀錄，別人就會像忘記五仁月餅那樣忘記了你，然后慢慢愛上了老干媽月餅。<//p>　　在今時今日，要留下歲月痕跡的方法還是相對簡單的——拿起手機，拍張自拍。<//p>　　我擁有特殊的拍全家福方式。<//p>　　巴基斯坦推特用戶發布的印度軍隊在卡吉爾戰爭時的照片，箭頭指向了奇怪的東東。(肖寧)<//p>　　聽說流量不清零了，小編也表示要有所行動！<//p>　　想一起（幫小編）自拍嗎？快來應聘小編實習生！<//p>　　子曰：“人往往生于憂患，而死于自拍。”<//p>　　據統計，2015年至今，自拍造成的死亡人數已經超過了鯊魚襲擊，一共12起。其中，4起是由于自拍時摔倒。其他還包括，自拍時被汽車或火車撞到，爬上危險設施拍照等。<//p>　?。≒K投票：你經常自拍嗎？）<//p>　　<//p>　　自拍猛于鯊！死了都要拍！<//p>　　其實，死于鯊魚襲擊的那幾個案例里，有幾宗都是“潛水時和鯊魚自拍被咬死”；只是因為統計方便，沒有算在了自拍致死里面。<//p>　　如果加上看到太丑的自拍導致惡心致死的，估計死傷者可能是成千上萬。<//p>　　這是你發在網上的自拍，和你實際的顏。<//p>　　重慶一男子見女網友嫌其丑，怒稱女子與照片差別大，結果被對方扇耳光，兩人動起手來打架。<//p>　　熱心市民前來調停：關了燈都一樣，你們執著什么呢？！<//p>　　自己約的炮，含著眼淚也要打完！<//p>　　每當看到電視上女主角說：“你得到的只是我的肉體，得不到我的靈魂”我內心都回一句：“老紙要的就是肉體??！”<//p>　　志玲啊，是你照相機壞了嗎？<//p>　　日前，臺灣女星林志玲網上曬照，其事業線竟然“消失”了，網友紛紛好奇地問：胸呢？<//p>　　聯想起冰冰早前的照片，我不由得打了個冷顫。<//p>　　難道，女人的胸，也像男人的那啥一樣，也會伸縮變大變??？！<//p>　　眼見不一定是真實，要摸過才知道。作為新聞從業員的胖編表示一定要去尋找真相。<//p>　　但話說回來，隨著拍照手機的普及，我們也真的漸漸失去了用雙眼感受寶貴瞬間的能力了。<//p>　　【怒刷存在感】<//p>　　最近，有很多人選擇了用拜年的方式來刷存在感。<//p>　　有的人很不喜歡拍照和寫日記這種事，我覺得他們很笨，萬一有一天你突然死了，這世界上就會沒有你存在過的痕跡。<//p>　　統計表明，很多男人懶到都不自己動手擼，而是在地板上鉆一個洞，然后把丁丁放進去，等待地震的到來。<//p>　　老婆站在沙灘上，在老公面前不停地搔首弄姿。“怎么樣？”她說，“我減掉了一斤，你能看出我和以前有什么區別嗎？”老公撿起一塊小石頭扔進大海，然后說：“海灘上少了一塊石頭，你能看出有什么區別嗎？”<//p>　　存在感對于一個人有多重要，從半壁音帝汪峰的一生就可以略知一二。<//p>　　音帝又上頭條了！近日，有網友爆料，汪峰在洛杉磯賭場現身玩牌，身邊未見章子怡陪伴。<//p>　　汪峰深情地問：你的夢想是——賭多大？<//p>　　做偷雞摸狗之事的人往往是不想留下紀錄的，但時代變了，現在的小偷，也很明白存在感這個道理。<//p>　　西安一名小偷偷了路邊停車的后視鏡后竟然大膽地留下了字條：“您的倒車鏡在我這，加QQ&hellip;…”而更奇葩的是，在這個小偷字條之下，還有一張字條：“賊已抓到、速到派出所來”字條最后面還留著派出所的電話，以及辦案警官的名字。<//p>　　哎，現在的小偷都與時俱進，學習互聯網思維，開始講求互動了。以后我們能不能給小偷打好評差評??？<//p>　　比光明正大貼紙條的小偷更奇葩的，還有這位光天化日性侵的大叔。<//p>　　英國最近發生了一連串令人匪夷所思的性侵案件，一名46歲男子強森因為“性侵”一個公園的“滑梯”而遭到警方逮捕；警方表示，這已經不是強森第一次侵犯溜滑梯，現在，他已經被禁止進入任何有滑梯的公園。<//p>　　對，我說的真的就是那種游樂場的滑梯！警方說，每次發現強森在作案，他都是在滑梯上脫得一絲不掛。<//p>　　好可憐的單身狗，弱問一句：滑梯這么寬的坑道，真的有快感嗎？<//p>　　“日了狗”原來還不是最猛的，現在要說“我日了滑梯”！<//p>　　和小姨子在看電視，突然那些亂來的劇情，我生氣的說：俗話說兔子不吃窩邊草，這人怎么。小姨嬌滴滴望著我打斷說：可草不這么想呀，誰吃還不是吃，還不如讓臉熟的吃，你說是吧姐夫？<//p>　　小偷和強奸犯都不再是“神出鬼沒”，因為鬼怪也開始現形了。<//p>　　胖編做了這么久《胖編怪談》，我甚至覺得，現在連妖魔鬼怪都要爭搶著“出鏡”來留下點陽間的紀錄。<//p>　　最近，杭州一對夫婦在午夜開車時撞見了不明物體，記錄儀更拍下了詭異畫面。這對的夫婦第一反應，這“物體”是碰瓷。<//p>　　小伙子，放心啦，我保證這肯定不是碰瓷，你一定是見到鬼了。<//p>　　十字路口，東邊來的大爺和南邊來的大爺各騎一自行車相遇了。在兩車只差0.0001KM就要相撞的一剎那。兩個大爺都死死地捏住了左右剎車，腳不沾地的騎在車上。3秒鐘之后，雙雙倒地。有旁觀者散出消息：這是一場碰瓷黨的同門切磋！<//p>　　歡迎接下來收看《走進科學》之馬路上的怪人——是鬼是人，撞過去不就知道了嗎？<//p>　　這哥們不是鬼怪，他是大神！他告訴我們一個道理，低調淡定往往是刷存在感的最好方式。<//p>　　一段網上視頻拍攝了一位小販攤主與城管發生沖突互毆的情形，而現場一位男子竟然全程淡定地坐著吃面！<//p>　　自己花錢買的面，含著淚抖著腿也要吃完！<//p>　　??！我只是一個不明真相的吃面群眾。<//p>　　看到他的淡定，我心感佩服，對于這淡定哥，我只想問一句：你吃完面付錢了嗎！<//p>　　又病了，好像是急腸胃炎，跟爹說我上吐下瀉了一整晚。他做出嚴肅而驚訝的表情問:多大的碗？（兩色風景嘎）<//p>　　當然，要刷存在感，我們也要有所為，有所不為。<//p>　　做這樣沒公德的事，你是留下了紀錄，但也沒有了做人的意義。<//p>　　重慶網友爆料，一名女子坐地鐵連嗑瓜子12站，瓜子殼也扔在車廂一地。<//p>　　哎，這妹子穿的這么光鮮，真的不像個腦殘啊。<//p>　　妹子表示：如果不吃瓜子解悶，我的急性短暫性精神病就要發作了！<//p>　　但話說回來，拍照的網友說“12站”是怎么數出來的？為什么沒有數出嗑了多少粒瓜子？<//p>　　至于金華這位酒店保潔工，因為拿了2張工作單位廁所手紙而被公示因偷盜開除，此事引起了巨大爭議。<//p>　?。≒K投票：你覺得她該罰嗎？）<//p>　　<//p>　　胖編覺得，便宜還是莫貪吧，做個光明磊落的人，才能夠留下光光鮮鮮的做人紀錄。<//p>　　學學這位小伙吧！我相信他以后的人生，會活得很有存在感。<//p>　　美國一名男子周末休假在家時訂了外送披薩和雞翅，沒想到送來的卻是1300元美金（約合人民幣8288元）。他最終選擇將錢還回去；而此舉獲得店家大力的贊許，并以“一年份的免費披薩”作為回報。<//p>　　銀行也開始送外賣了嗎？<//p>　　“喂，你好，麻煩我要一份人民幣！不要辣，要多點香菜！”<//p>　　領導說：有啥奇怪的，每年中秋節收到的月餅盒里也有現金呢！<//p>　　故天將降大任于斯人也，必先苦其心志，勞其筋骨，餓其體膚，空乏其身，行拂亂其所為...然后老天說：“不好意思認錯人了。”<//p>　　俗語說，人怕出名豬怕壯，可是現在的豬，要留下名聲，已經不靠“壯”了。<//p>　　汶川地震中奇跡般存活了38天的“豬堅強”，它的后代成為了寵物豬了，估計身價過萬。<//p>　　尼瑪啊，這年頭連豬都拼爹！你說論身材論體型，我胖編有什么比不上這豬二代？<//p>　　話說，啥時候評選一個“感動咱們的十大動物”？<//p>　　一民宅失火，消防隊到場后聽見屋內傳來“救命！”“失火了！”的求救聲，趕緊沖了進去，結果發現里面空無一人，喊救命的是兩只鸚鵡，于是就把鸚鵡們救出來吸氧，狀況良好。所以說，會一門外語真是太特么重要了！<//p>　　豬命也能比人命還貴，確實很諷刺。我不禁問自己：普通人還有啥意義？<//p>　　【存在的意義】<//p>　　別以為胖編在故弄玄虛談一些高深的哲學問題，其實很多道理，在日常生活和新聞中都能有所領悟。<//p>　　有的人，他們的存在意義，是努力地突破理想。<//p>　　日本京都105歲老人宮崎秀吉100米跑最年長的參與者的世界紀錄，他在創紀錄后做出了博爾特的經典動作。<//p>　　這才是真正的“世界紀錄”！<//p>　　有的人，他們的存在意義，是做回自我。<//p>　　在廣州舉行的一場選美比賽上，曾榮獲全國道德模范稱號、成功接受變性手術的劉婷（術前名為劉霆）參賽，并獲得大獎。接受變性手術后參賽選美，劉婷成為全國的第一人。<//p>　　對于劉婷，無論你喜不喜歡他的變性形象，但他確實是當今中國最勇敢做回自己的人之一。<//p>　　這位國外的輪椅小妹，她也表示：無論是怎樣的殘疾，也不會阻礙她去做她喜歡的事。<//p>　　最重要的是，我們都不應該留下遺憾。<//p>　　真正有意義的活著，大約有點像太湖底下撈起的石頭，是洗凈塵泥后的硬瘦剔透，上面還附著一生歲月所沖積洗刷出的浪痕。<//p>　　中秋節前胖編的最后一期，求大家用力打賞，我才能吃得起老干媽月餅！<//p>　　<//p>　　【輕松一刻以物換物第一輪】<//p>　　主編的裙子，有誰想拿走嗎？<//p>　　猛截傳送門：輕松一刻上頭條<//p>　　【輕松一刻智商測試（第八期）】<//p>　　你得急性短暫性精神病了嗎？快進來測一下！智商不足的自然得病也容易啦！<//p>　　每周更新，敬請期待?。ǘ嗤鎺状胃鼫蚀_哦?。?/span><//p>　　請猛戳：<//p>　　<//p>　　裝逼不是應該打120嗎？打110有什么用。<//p>　　有反轉的才叫結局。看開頭就知道結尾的那是美國電影。<//p>　　樓下的人太多了，已略。<//p>　　下面這些英文名對應的是武俠小說中的哪個人物？知道的來捧個道場。<//p>　　上期答案：開放性問題，吃翔狗最長，那我們就讓他上吧。<//p>　　他們是在解鎖什么姿勢？<//p>　　上期吐槽大PK！<//p>　　你覺得誰的吐槽逗樂了你呢？<//p>　　<//p>　　熟悉的老課文，遠去的童年時光，你還記得這些圖片嗎？<//p>　　月光曲<//p>　　貝多芬走近茅屋，琴聲突然停了，屋子里有人在談話。 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